Emergency Room Doctors See Some Crazy Shit
After we learned about all of the crazy shit Grindr and Tinder users elect to see in their quest for tail, we figured that chatting with ER doctors about the ludicrous nonsense they endure while saving people’s lives might put things into context. So, here are our favorite anecdotes we heard from the people out there who fix you up when you do something really dumb.
The Case of the Missing Finial
One time, I treated a 19-year-old kid who got into some trouble while he was at home by himself playing with a curtain rod. It was a split rod, so you could squeeze it and put a finial on the end of it. A finial is a decorative bit of molding on the either end of a curtain rod. Anyway, he slid it up his butt and the channel pinched right onto his anus. It got stuck.
He tried to get it out but he couldn’t. So he called his mom to help, and she couldn’t get it out either. So they called an ambulance. The curtain rod was probably about five feet long—so this kid comes in lying face down on a stretcher, with a curtain rod sticking up in the air. He was in the emergency room for an hour before he got taken up to the operating room. We put him to sleep and took the curtain rod out. All you had to do was separate the edges a little bit and it un-pinched, which was easy to do when you could see it from behind. But then there was the other piece… it remained inside of him. So I started trying to get it, but every time I tried it just went further and further inside of him.